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Where were we? Oh yeah, that thing about leading a water bottle to the recycle trough but not its lid. Doesn’t make sense, but it’s catchy.  

While sleuthing, The Rubble Rousers realized there are more items on the NO recycling list than are approved for recycling. Bummer. Instead of listing what’s NOT, we’ll start with what IS. Sounds like a Shakespeare line, doesn’t it? Let’s go with it, shall we? 

Oh, thou water flask with the slender neck, so convenient yet non-biodegradable. 

Get thee to the recycling bin and transform thyself into a picnic table.

Cardboard carton with thine milky content, are thee but a lovely vessel? 

Your destiny lies in rebirth, reincarnated into a box of Kleenex tissues. 

Okay, that was clumsy, but you get the point.  Here’s another little ditty:  

1 to six, it hits the bricks. Seven to ten, doesn’t live again.

Interpretation: Find your magnifying glass and search for the recycle symbol on the product. If the product is labeled 1 to 6, it is approved for recycling. Numbers 7 and above are dumped in the trash at the recycle center.  

THESE PRODUCTS ARE A GO. And they don’t need sorting.   

Warning to kitchen gods and goddesses: When recycling, pretty please rinse objects so they do not contaminate other products. Oh, and if you goof up and put something in the blue bin that doesn’t meet the approval of the Recycle Dudes/Dudettes, don’t fret—they won’t send Guido to break your legs.  

PLASTIC:  Are you iced tea or icky, fermented Kombucha? Recycle doesn’t judge, so throw those plastic bottles in the bin. Also, water, soda, juice, shampoo, milk bottles and other plastic bottles. Especially things with a narrow neck. That giant, red Tide container? Yep, it can go in there. 

GLASS: Soda, beer and wine (lots of beer and wine), salad dressing, jelly and pickle jars and those other jars with moldy stuff at the back of your fridge. The metal lids? No one knows so stick it in there and “don’t worry ‘bout it.” 

ALUMINUM CANS: Are you Coke or Pepsi? Loaded or Zero? Doesn’t matter, put those cans in the bin.  

STEEL CANS: No matter how long the green beans have been sitting on the Lazy Susan, they are recyclable. Oh, dump the beans first. (And only peel the labels if you are OCD in need of therapy.) 

CARDBOARD CARTONS: Milk and cream, juice boxes, broth, wine box (Cardboardeaux).  These may be recycled.  

ALL CLEAN PAPER: Yep, the NYTimes, AARP magazines, and all the junk mail you wish to put where the sun doesn’t shine. Even Al’s secret shredded papers. Use the container in the lobby or put it in your Service Area, but Don’t put it in a Plastic Bag...use those Milam paper sacks or simply place the stuff in the bin. We know, it takes the grocery clerks longer to fill a paper sack than a single use plastic one...it’s worth it.  

CARDBOARD: Of course the toilet paper roll is a go. So long as you break down your cardboard boxes, you may leave them in the Service Area. And one more thing: dirty, oily pizza boxes should be pitched in the basura or we kick you in the trasero. 

LIDS AND CAPS: The Recycle Dudes/Dudettes have difficulty keeping very small items out of the conveyor works, so they discourage sending the tiny lids and caps from containers. Again, don’t obsess over it.  

POP QUIZZ!! 

What do you do with that Blueberry yogurt cup   

After the cat or dog licks it clean?? 

Find out in the next edition of “Talking Trash.”